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Richmond Institute of Sexual Empowerment

Valerie McDonnell

Articles on Sex, Intimacy, and Communication (all)

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How Does the Brain Heal from Sexual Trauma?

5 min read

How Does the Brain Heal from Sexual Trauma?

Exploring the long-lasting effects of sexual trauma on the brain and nervous system, and how this knowledge can inform therapeutic...

Understanding Sex Addiction: Causes, Signs, and Recovery Strategies

6 min read

Understanding Sex Addiction: Causes, Signs, and Recovery Strategies

What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is characterized by the lack of control over sexual thoughts, urges, and impulses, leading to...

Jealousy and Compersion in Relationships

7 min read

Jealousy and Compersion in Relationships

Jealousy comes up in all types of relationships, sexual and otherwise. A kid can experience jealousy when their mother is talking to...

27 Essential Polyamory/Non-monogamy Terms & Definitions

8 min read

27 Essential Polyamory/Non-monogamy Terms & Definitions

A small but growing number of people are discovering—and proving—that monogamy as our culture understands it is not the only way to be...

Intimacy Coaching Amid the Chaos

5 min read

Intimacy Coaching Amid the Chaos

How are things going? I know that can be a hard question to answer right now. So far we’ve survived a global pandemic, white supremacy is...

Security, Safety, and Connection: How Childhood Relationships Create Adult Attachment Styles

6 min read

Security, Safety, and Connection: How Childhood Relationships Create Adult Attachment Styles

How do you behave when you’re feeling insecure in your relationship? What steps do you take when you feel a lack of connection? Do your...

Loving the Mirror: 3 Sex-Positive Practices

5 min read

Loving the Mirror: 3 Sex-Positive Practices

Before you can have a meaningful conversation about sex with a partner, you have to agree with yourself that your sexuality and your...

V is for Clitoris: A Valentine’s Day Special

3 min read

V is for Clitoris: A Valentine’s Day Special

A student recently asked me, “What’s the best sex position for stimulating the clitoris?” And the fact of the matter is, I get questions...

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions (Sex Coach Edition)

4 min read

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions (Sex Coach Edition)

*Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash Say what you will about New Year’s Resolutions, but done right they are a powerful tool in...

Stuff Their Stocking – The Art of Gifting Sex Toys

3 min read

Stuff Their Stocking – The Art of Gifting Sex Toys

For lovers who want to provide their partner the gift of augmented pleasure, there are a few things to keep in mind. Sex toys can make...

Practicing Safe Holidays: 4 Ways to Protect Yourself From Infectious Stress

6 min read

Practicing Safe Holidays: 4 Ways to Protect Yourself From Infectious Stress

*Note: Client anecdotes used with permission The holidays are upon us! In our wildly diverse nation, that means something different to...

What's the Best Way to Get Better at Sex? Exercise!

5 min read

What's the Best Way to Get Better at Sex? Exercise!

Take it from a sex coach: sexuality is intimately tied to physical activity. Do I hear a Duh! from the back corner? Well it may seem...

Trick or Treat—Wanna Play Doctor?

4 min read

Trick or Treat—Wanna Play Doctor?

Dressing up isn't just for Halloween...

Self-Medicate by Practicing Gratitude

3 min read

Self-Medicate by Practicing Gratitude

Practicing active gratitude can improve your relationship and sex life.

The Importance of Making Time for Each Other

4 min read

The Importance of Making Time for Each Other

How to set aside designated time for communicating and working on your relationship.

Therapy vs Coaching: Deciding Which is Best for You

3 min read

Therapy vs Coaching: Deciding Which is Best for You

The differences between sex therapy and relationship coaching—and how to decide what you need.

We Really Love Each Other...But The Sex Part Is Off

4 min read

We Really Love Each Other...But The Sex Part Is Off

Sexual desire discrepancy as a feature, not a bug, of long-term relationships.

Have Better Sex by NOT Having Sex: Sensate Focus

9 min read

Have Better Sex by NOT Having Sex: Sensate Focus

The fabled sex therapy technique developed by Masters & Johnson

3 Mistakes to Avoid When Talking About Sex

5 min read

3 Mistakes to Avoid When Talking About Sex

Foreplay starts the moment you're done having sex. That includes talking about it. Learn how to start that conversation from a sex therapist

How Mirroring Dialogue Helps Couples Empathize & Communicate Better

7 min read

How Mirroring Dialogue Helps Couples Empathize & Communicate Better

Disempowering the defensive ego through Imago's methodical approach to sex therapy communication

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